Transformative Resilience in Life Transitions: Autobiographical Insights into Change and Identity

Picture: Saskia 8 years old spending a year in Tuscany

Published in Third Culture: Studies in Global Childhoods and Cosmopolitan Identities Volume 1 N°1 https://journals.sta.uwi.edu/ojs/index.php/tc/index

My personal story with transitions begins early. As a so-called Third Culture Kid (Pollock, Van Reken, & Pollock, 2017), I grew up in three different European countries, speaking three languages and attending eight different schools. This was not because I was a difficult child, but because my family followed my father’s academic career—more precisely, because my parents made that decision.

As a child, I loved it. There was always something new to discover: new challenges, new people, new environments. Research shows that TCKs (Third Culture Kids) often develop high levels of adaptability and intercultural sensitivity (Lijadi & Van Schalkwyk, 2017), and these traits have shaped me to this day. In my twenties, however, I realized that the next challenge was staying. On average, after about two years, I would feel a strong pull to move on—an inner drive to seek new places, experiences, and challenges. I sometimes think of the film Chocolat (Hallström, 2001), in which the protagonists are called by the North Wind to move on—although they ultimately choose not to.

For a long time, I experienced this tendency as an advantage. I adapt quickly, orient myself easily in unfamiliar situations, and trust that transitions can improve circumstances. Psychological research describes this orientation as an approach toward novelty and challenge (Kashdan & Silvia, 2009). There is also something liberating about change: new situations allow us to try out new sides of ourselves. Identity research has long emphasized this interplay between context and self-expression (Hermans & Kempen, 1993). Self-expression is always situated, relational, and context-dependent; the self is neither fully determined by context nor entirely autonomous, but emerges through ongoing dialogue between individual meaning-making and sociocultural environments.

At the same time, I became increasingly aware of how strongly my environment influenced me—sometimes for the better, sometimes not. In each context, I discovered and lived out different parts of myself simply by responding to what was around me. Today, I channel this experience into improvisational theatre (improv), which aligns closely with Dialogical Self Theory. Improv allows me to inhabit multiple voices, respond flexibly to others, and shape identity in real time through dialogue and interaction. Importantly, Dialogical Self Theory emphasizes that identity development involves ongoing positioning and repositioning over time. Contextual changes—such as life transitions, crises, or critical events—can destabilize dominant I-positions and make room for new ones. Identity, in this sense, is continuously re-authored through dialogue, reflecting both personal agency and contextual constraint (Hermans, 2001).

Of course, there was a price to pay. While others went home during their studies, I had no place I could truly call home, with my parents’ divorce adding another layer of disruption. Even today, the concept of home remains complicated for me. Home is where I am—but because I could always change that, it often feels arbitrary. Research reflects this paradox: TCKs frequently report both a broadened worldview and a weakened sense of belonging (Bonebright, 2010). I have now lived in one place for almost fourteen years—something I would not have expected—yet I have changed jobs several times and moved six times within the same city. This is not because I plan it that way; it simply seems to happen.

It sometimes feels as if I attract change, even though I long for stability and a sense of arrival. This tension reflects the dialectic of continuity and change. Erikson (1968) described human development as a lifelong negotiation between identity stability and transformation. We need both—and we also need those who preserve, who stay, who contribute to continuity. If everyone lived nomadically, there would be too much disorder. Living in one city for so long has given me a sense of stability, and I notice that I no longer want to give it up lightly. It would have to be for something truly compelling. Vienna, in particular, makes it easy to stay. Another

city just for the sake of change? No, thank you. Still, the possibility never fully disappears, even though I know how demanding it can be to rebuild friendships and networks. For now, I choose to stay.

Across the lifespan, humans inevitably experience transitions: changing schools, graduating, leaving home, forming relationships, starting new jobs, becoming ill, aging, and experiencing loss. Van Gennep (1909/1960) described such rites of passage as structured transitions involving separation, liminality, and incorporation—often accompanied by uncertainty and anxiety. Doubt is common, and regret is rarely pleasant. In contemporary societies, this uncertainty is intensified by increasingly flexible life trajectories. Beck (1992) described modern societies as “risk societies,” in which individuals must navigate non-linear and unpredictable life courses. Collective transformations—such as the Covid pandemic, climate change, energy crises, and war—further erode our sense of predictability (Alexander, 2012), increasing stress and, importantly, ambivalence.

Developmental psychology suggests that crises can catalyze growth when accompanied by reflection and adequate support (Levinson, 1978; Mezirow, 1991). Resistance to change often reflects ambivalence: the simultaneous desire for transformation and attachment to familiar patterns. From an existential perspective, anxiety surrounding change is closely tied to mortality awareness, as every transformation involves a symbolic loss of what once was (Yalom, 1980)—losses that may require mourning, often without sufficient time or tools.

Bandura’s (1997) concept of self-efficacy is central here. The belief in one’s capacity to influence events enables adaptive action even under constraint. Development is therefore non-linear, marked by irreversible thresholds that leave lasting imprints. These transitions provoke ambivalence, but this ambivalence itself can become a mechanism of resilience. By integrating conflicting perspectives and responding flexibly to uncertainty, individuals can transform crises into opportunities for growth.

Resilience illustrates this shift well. Originally a concept from material science, resilience described the ability to return to an original form. For humans, this is neither possible nor desirable. Contemporary psychology emphasizes “bouncing forward” rather than “bouncing back” – i.e., adapting and growing through adversity instead of merely restoring the old normal (Carver, 1998). I therefore advocate for transformative resilience: the capacity to integrate difficult experiences, relinquish limiting assumptions, and create meaning through change. Growth can be painful—hence the notion of “growing pains”—and given the losses involved, it is understandable that transitions are challenging. Resilience research highlights meaning-making and social support as crucial pathways for growth through adversity (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004). From this perspective, resilience requires the courage to allow oneself to be changed by critical life events—to emerge not as the same person who entered them, but as someone transformed through experience (Uhle, 2025).

Biographical research underscores the importance of life transitions—such as entering higher education, choosing a career, or forming partnerships—for identity development and resilience (Schlossberg, 1981). Successfully navigating these transitions builds resources for future challenges. In contexts of migration or relocation, this process is intensified: learning new languages, encountering different values, and forming new social bonds requires acculturative learning (Berry, 1997). Such experiences sharpen identity awareness by confronting individuals with cultural relativity and questions of belonging—and they change us irrevocably.

I learned early how strongly environment shapes identity. In adolescence, belonging to peer groups provides orientation and protection from exclusion. Marcia (1966) described this phase as one of identity exploration and commitment. But experiencing different norms and trends across different cultural contexts complicates this process. What is taken for granted in one place may be irrelevant in another. For instance, in some schools, active verbal participation in class—through asking questions and contributing comments—was commonly expected,

whereas in another school, learning was primarily associated with attentive listening and memorization of extensive content. Later, I found that there were different norms in the work context too: in some cultures, active participation in meetings was expected even of a newcomer, whereas in others I needed to show restraint. For me, adaptation became a survival strategy—and it worked. Yet I am still learning how much adaptation is right for me. Dialogical Self Theory (Hermans, 2001) offers a helpful lens here, emphasizing identity as a dynamic constellation of multiple I-positions shaped by context.

During my twenties, I entered a phase of intensive self-exploration: still moving between contexts, but increasingly trying to differentiate what was truly mine from what I had adopted to fit in. Today, as a psychologist and reflective practitioner, I see identity work and resilience as lifelong processes. Change is not a disruption of life—it is life. The challenge lies in approaching it with awareness, self-efficacy, and the courage to both preserve and transform.

These transitions shape not only identity and resilience, but what might be called transformational competence: the ability to live with uncertainty, integrate change, and find meaning across contexts. In a way, I began practicing early. The ideal balance between preservation and renewal cannot be determined in advance, not least because it never depends on us alone. What becomes clear in this context is that identity development and resilience never depend on the individual alone. They emerge in constant interaction with social, cultural, and historical contexts, as well as with the opportunities and constraints these contexts provide. The ability to deal with uncertainty, which is increasingly required in contemporary societies, is therefore not merely a personal trait or skill, but a relational and contextual competence. Developing such competence can be an important resource for navigating an unpredictable future, yet it is not without its costs.

In biographies shaped by high mobility, such as those of Third Culture Kids, openness, adaptability, and responsiveness to change may come at the expense of a more consolidated and stable sense of identity. This does not imply pathology or identity diffusion, but rather a

different developmental trajectory—one marked by prolonged exploration, contextual sensitivity, and a more fluid sense of self. Transformative resilience, in this sense, involves not only adapting to new circumstances, but also acknowledging and grieving what has been lost, or what was never fully available: a stable sense of belonging to one place, one community, or one clearly bounded identity.

In my own case, this resilience has meant learning to live with this tension. While I continue to experience a strong sense of connection—to people, ideas, and the world at large—this belonging is not anchored in a single location. Instead, it is relational and dynamic. Transformational resilience, then, is not about arriving at certainty or coherence once and for all, but about sustaining openness while tolerating ambiguity, integrating loss alongside growth, and accepting that identity is shaped as much by context as by choice. In an increasingly uncertain world, this capacity may be both a vital resource and an ongoing challenge.

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